Film Review: Horrible Histories: The Movie – Rotten Romans (2019)

With an all-star cast, Horrible Histories: The Movie – Rotten Romans is a perfectly good piece of family entertainment

“All say yah
Bou-dic-ca”

Horrible Histories: The Movie – Rotten Romans is my first experience of the multimedia franchise and as a piece of light-hearted entertainment, I thought it was rather good fun. It is especially notable for getting quite the company together to have a rollicking good time of it, Kim Cattrall and Rupert Graves rub shoulders, Sam Spiro pops in for a cameo as do any number of British comics, and no less than Derek Jacobi reprises his (I,) Claudius.

It’s all in aid of a kid-friendly rendition of Boudicca’s rebellion against the Roman rulers, told from the perspective of a dorky Roman kid (Sebastian Croft’s Atti) who finds himself conscripted into the army sent to defend their British territories and Orla (Emilia Jones) a teenage rebel Celt who is determined to be a warrior like her flame-haired rival. And in pairing them up in a rather charming way, it entertains in a pleasingly unexpected way. Continue reading “Film Review: Horrible Histories: The Movie – Rotten Romans (2019)”

Film Review: All Is True (2018)

Ben Elton and Kenneth Branagh latter-day Shakespeare biography All Is True is at once precious and poignant

“You spent so long putting words into other people’s mouths, you think it only matters what is said”

A most curious one this, continuing our creative obsession with filling in the biographical gaps in the life of William Shakespeare (cf Shakespeare in LoveAnonymous; Dedication; Will). All Is True is written by Ben Elton, who has (comic) form in the shape of Upstart Crow, the TV show soon to make its own theatrical bow and has as its director, producer and star, one Kenneth Branagh.

In some ways, it is a beautiful film. Branagh eschews a lot of artifical lighting and flickers of candlelight illuminates several interior scenes to gorgeous effect. He also takes pains to find interesting angles for his shots and the opening image of his silhouetted figure against the burning Globe is stunning. And being able to call on the likes of Sir Ian McKellen (the Earl of Southampton) and Dame Judi Dench (Anne Hathaway) to toss off some Shakespeare recital is of course an unalloyed pleasure. Continue reading “Film Review: All Is True (2018)”

12 Days of Christmas – Black Mirror 1:1

“Oh for…fucking internet”

On the first day of Christmas, Black Mirror gave to me…a politician fucking a pig.

Can Charlie Brooker ever have conceived that four years after The National Anthem aired, the theme of his first episode of Black Mirror would actually come horrifically to life as Lord Ashcroft’s biography of David Cameron alluded to unsavoury acts with a pig’s head. Continue reading “12 Days of Christmas – Black Mirror 1:1”

Review: The Painkiller, Gielgud

“We have a problem with this…”

Kenneth Branagh I’ve got an idea what we can put into the March slot for the season
Branagh Theatre employee Oh yes?
KB Me and Rob Brydon did The Painkiller in Belfast a couple of years ago, we can reprise that
BTe Ok. But isn’t that another play by a dead white man in a season already populated exclusively by dead white men?
KB *checks Google* Nope, Francis Veber is still alive. He’s nearly 80 but still alive.
BTe Riiight. But you know, diversity is kind of important. Does the show at least have a decent spread of roles
KB *proudly announces* There’s part for a woman AND a black guy in it.
BTe Ok. And you’re sure they’re not the two smallest parts, almost token gestures in the end?
KB *awkward silence*
Oh wait, there’s a gay man in it too
BTe Well that’s something
KB Yes. He’ll have audiences rolling in the aisles, reminding them of the good old days of John Inman
BTe *stunned silence*
KB So contemporary audiences will find lots in this you see, the idea that two men might be shagging is just intrinsically funny.
BTe I see Sean Foley has adapted it as well as being the director
KB Oh yes, it really is very modern, right up to date. It has a joke about Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen AND one about Chris De Burgh in it. You’ll be on the floor laughing with the rest of them.
BTe I’m sure. And as for the farce, are you good with comedy
KB I am a theatrical knight, I can do EVERYTHING!
BTe Well, at least we’ve got Rob Brydon, he can…well, he can do Rob Brydon
KB And everyone loves farce. Even Sondheim says so and someone who named his blog after a lyric from such a song should know that.
BTe Maybe he just likes good farce like Noises Off
KB And One Man, Two Guv’nors?
BTe I wouldn’t go there…
What about putting something on that isn’t by a dead or nearly dead white man?
KB Oh just find something written by a BAME woman that has been successful somewhere else and plug that in, maybe no-one will notice.

Running time: 90 minutes (without interval)
Booking until 30th April

DVD Review: One Chance

“Kind of like the opera of my life”

Next up in the list of films I didn’t think I’d ever watch was Paul Potts’ biopic One Chance. For those not in the know or at least have little knowledge of Britain’s Got Talent, he emerged as the winner of the first series, his backstory as an unremarkable mobile telephone salesman with bad teeth the perfect foil for a rich operatic tenor. And as it turns out, his life was a catalogue of misfortunes, bullying and bad health holding back his dream of becoming a singer – perfect material to make into a film one might think.

Not on this evidence. David Frankel’s film is hamstrung from the outset by the fatal miscasting of James Corden in the leading role. Potts, or at least the version that is presented here, is a shy, retiring type full of crippling vulnerabilities and crucially enlivened through the gift of music but Corden conveys little, if any of this through his performance. He’s not helped by having to mime along to Potts’ own voice but there’s something more fundamentally wrong here, Corden’s cursory attempts at impersonation horribly superficial. Continue reading “DVD Review: One Chance”